We think this question has many answers……

1. Yes, they are marrying you because you have attended the church since you were a child and will hurt their feelings if you do not extend the invitation to have them celebrate after the actual ceremony…..

2. Yes, because after all, who is going to do the blessing before dinner at the reception?

3. Yes, because they have traveled possibly quite a distance to be there and the ceremony lasted for 15 minutes and now you expect them to leave and go home while everybody else gets to stay and have a meal and celebrate…..

4. Yes, because it is just a courtesy and if they are not close friends of the family. 90% of the time , they will decline gracefully…..

5. No, You have hired them to do a job and they did the job…..

Would Love to hear feedback on your opinions on this subject….

The Order of Who Walks When During a Wedding Processional

One of the grandest part of any wedding ceremony is when the bridal party makes its entrance. The air is full of anticipation, and the groom anxiously awaits his first glimpse of his bride in her wedding dress. But do you know what order your bridal party should walk in? And who escorts the mother of the bride?

Different types of wedding processionals
The order of wedding processionals follows a general pattern, but varies according to religious traditions. For example, here is a Catholic wedding processional:

The priest, groom, and best man enter through a side door and wait at the altar.
The groomsmen and bridesmaids walk down in pairs, starting with the two who will stand farthest from the bride and groom, and ending with the best man and maid of honor.
The ring bearer and/or flower girl
The bride and her father, or other close family member. The bride walks on the left side. If the bride’s escort is her father, he leads her to the front of the aisle, then takes his seat next to the bride’s mother.

However, for a Jewish wedding processional, the order goes something like this:

The Rabbi and/or cantor
Grandparents of the bride, who are then seated in the first row
Grandparents of the groom, who are then seated in the first row
Groomsmen, walking in pairs
Best man
The groom, who is escorted by his parents.
Bridesmaids
Maid or Matron of Honor
Ring bearer and/or flower girl
The bride, escorted by her parents

And for a Protestant wedding, this is the traditional order of a wedding processional:
The mothers of the bride and groom are seated after all guests are seated, and immediately before the start of the processional music. They are usually escorted to their seats by a brother of the bride or groom, or by another usher.
After they are seated, the officiant, groom and best man enter by a side door and wait at the altar.
Groomsmen may also enter by a side door, or can escort the bridesmaids.
Bridesmaids
Ring bearer and/or flower girl
Maid or Matron of Honor
The bride, escorted by her father or other close male family member or friend. At the front of the aisle, her escort can remain standing with her until the minister asks “Who gives this woman in marriage?” to which he responds “I do,” or “Her mother and I do.” However, some people feel this tradition is old fashioned and sexist, and choose to forgo it. In such a case, her escort walks with the bride to the front of the aisle, and then takes his seat in the front row.

For a non-denominational ceremony, a secular ceremony, or a non-traditional ceremony, you can either borrow liberally from one of these traditions, or make up your own rules.

In all cases, the bride traditionally stands on the left, and the groom on the right. This dates back to medieval times when the groom might need to defend his bride in the middle of the ceremony, and wanted to leave his right hand, his sword hand, free. While few grooms even carry a sword anymore, the tradition has lasted.

A wedding processional using two aisles
People tackle the problem of two aisles in a variety of ways. You can choose to only use one aisle, but this means that many of your guests will feel far from the action. I often advise couples to do the processional up one aisle, and the recessional down the other. Another alternative is to have bridesmaids walk up one aisle, and groomsmen up the other. The bride and groom can then each choose an aisle to enter through.

A wedding processional with a small bridal party
If you only have a few people in your bridal party, it’s a good idea to send them up one by one. For example, if you had a best man, maid of honor, flower girl, and ring bearer this should be the order
Groom takes his place at the front
Best man enters
Maid of Honor walks up aisle
Ring Bearer
Flower Girl
Bride, with escort if she has one.
With such a small wedding party, it’s probably not formal enough to warrant a formal seating of the mothers and grandmothers. However, if you still want to do this, let the best man seat the grandmothers and the groom seat the mothers as part of their entrances.

Don’t forget to smile! It’s a good idea to have either a coordinator, or a friend with a written list helping to line up the bridal party and telling each person when to go. They can stand just beyond where the guests can see them. They should also remind each person to smile when they’re walking down the aisle!

Happy Tablesetting!

                                                                         Formal Table Setup

1.      Place decoration plate at intended seating location on the table one inch from edge of the table.

2.      Place soup bowl in the center of the decoration plate.

3.      Place the dinner knife one inch to the right of the decoration plate with blade facing the left.

4.      Place seafood knife one-half inch to the right of the dinner knife with blade facing the left.

5.      Place soup spoon one-half inch to the right of the seafood knife.

6.      Place the meat and salad fork one inch to the left of the decoration plate.

7.      Place seafood fork one-half inch to the left of the meat and salad fork.

8.      Place dessert fork one inch above the decoration plate with tines pointing to the right.

9.      Place dessert spoon one-half inch above the dessert fork with the bowl pointing to the left.

10.  Place the white wine glass one inch above the knives five inches to the right of the dessert fork.

11.  Place the red wine glass one-half inch above and to the right of the white wine glass.

12.  Place the water glass one inch above the red wine glass.

13.  Place the champagne glass one-half inch to the left of the red wine and water glasses.

14.  Place the bread-and-butter plate to the left of the dessert silverware and above the meal forks, one inch away from the decoration plate.

15.  Repeat steps 1-14 for each guest attending.

For some, involving the stepparents is not a difficult task. It seems that the two sets of parents get along with each other or are at least civil to one another, so involving everyone in your wedding won’t be risky and won’t offend anyone. But there are circumstances where none of the parents, biological or stepparent, can get along at all, they can’t even seem to be in the same room for five minutes without some kind of a disagreement taking place. You might ask how to go about handling a situation such as that one.

We highly suggest that you sit down with both sets of parents and inform them that you would like for all of them to participate in and share in your big day, but that you have some reservations about doing so, and then explain to them what your reservations are and ask if they have any suggestions on how this can be worked out so that all of them can share in your day with you. Do not be afraid to tell them exactly how you expect things to go because this is your special day and not a single part of it should be ruined just because four adults can’t seem to be civil to one another for a few hours for the sake of your happiness.

There are a couple of things that you can do to include them all in your ceremony. One way would be to sit all four of them in the row designated for the parents. Another way would be to take two different sets of wedding pictures, one with the biological family and one with the stepfamily. And, another very important way to include both sets of parents would be to allow both dads to walk their little girl down the aisle, one on each side of her.

The point is, this is your day and nothing should be allowed to ruin it for you. Both sets of parents will have to be adult enough to be civil to each other throughout the wedding and reception. If this is something that they are unwilling or incapable of doing then there is no need for them to show up. It’s your day, remember that.

Best Way to Ask for Cash Gifts
While it is still considered rude to ask for money outright, there are plenty of more subtle ways to go about doing this.  The best way to let your guests know what you want is by word of mouth.  Make sure that your close friends and family all know that you prefer to receive money.  The bridal party should be in on this as well, as guests may contact one of them (most likely the Maid of Honor or Best Man) to get this information.

In most cases, your guests will understand.  Many of the people invited to your wedding are likely to be close friends and family that you are able to be honest with.  You should let them know why you prefer money if possible.  In many cases this may be because you are saving for large purchases such as furniture, a new house, or a car.

Gifts for Charity
Another option if you prefer to forgo traditional wedding gifts is to have money donated in your names to a charity.  If you decide to go this route, select your favorite charity and contact them.  They may be able to offer advice on setting up a special fund for this event and can give you specific instructions on how your guests should donate.  Though this is still considered a monetary gift, it is a beautiful way to give back and use your wedding as a way to better the world.

Thank You Note
Remember to keep careful track of all gifts received.  It can be especially easy to lose track if you are collecting several checks.  Dedicate a special notebook or spreadsheet to keeping careful track of this information.  When it comes to gifts, keep in mind that your guests will appreciate knowing what you would really like.  By providing this information in a tactful and polite manner, you will be able to get the type of gifts you want without upsetting etiquette and tradition – lastly, do not forget to send a thank you note to your guests

The first thing you need to know before you begin your seating arrangements is how many tables you will have and how many people will be seated at each table.  Once you have this information, you can begin making short lists of who will sit at each table.

Head Table
You should start with the head table.  There are several options for this.  If you have one long head table, the bride and groom sit in the middle. The bride will sit to the right of the groom. Then, your first option is to seat the best man beside the bride and maid of honor beside the groom, in which case you will seat the other bridesmaids and groomsmen in alternating order along the table (each bridesmaid between two groomsmen and vice versa). The second option is to seat the maid of honor beside the bride, with the bridesmaids together along one side of the table, and the best man beside the groom with the groomsmen together along the other side of the table.

When it comes to seating the head table, you should consider the people who are in the wedding party, and which arrangement they will be more comfortable with.  Many couples now opt out of having a head table altogether. In this case the bride and groom will sit alone at a sweetheart table for two.  You can then seat all of your attendants together at one table, or seat your attendants with their dates or spouses at several tables.

You could do a simple variation of the long head table by making two rows of tables instead of one.

How about having a sweetheart table for the couple surrounded by a few small tables at which the bridal party would be seated?

Or you could forego the head table completely and sit with your guests at long tables instead of round ones.

Parents Table
After you have decided where to seat the wedding party, next up choosing a table for the parents.  Traditionally the parents of both the bride and groom will sit together at a table with the officiate and his wife.  Divorced and/or remarried parents can make this arrangement a little trickier.  If either the bride or groom has divorced parents that would be uncomfortable sitting together, then by all means, seat them with other family members that will make the evening more comfortable for them.  The best way to handle these types of situations is to sit down separately with each parent and determine what will make them the most comfortable.

Kids Table

kids table favor idea

Your next consideration may be the other little participants in the wedding – the ring bearer and flower girl.  If you choose to have children in the wedding, the best idea for the reception is to seat them either with their parents, or at a children’s table if you have one.  If they are sitting with their parents you may seat them all at the same table so the children feel that they are still at an important table.

Guests Table
When it comes to seating the rest of your guests, the most important thing is that they have a good time.  Make sure that every person has at least one and preferably two or three people at their table that they know.  You will probably have to have one or more tables where your guests will be seated with some people with whom they are not familiar.  Use your best judgment and try to put together people with similar interests, or within the same age range.

Seating Plan
Your last task in the seating process is deciding where each table will be placed.  The head table should face the rest of the room and remain mostly unobstructed. T he next closest tables should be those with parents and other close relatives.  Be careful to seat the more elderly guests away from speakers or the kitchen, as they may not be able to hear very well from these locations.  Likewise, children seated near the kitchen may get under the feet of servers.

Enlist the help of your parents and attendants during this planning.  By following these tips, you should be able to set up the perfect reception in no time at all!

Send out mass thank you notes looking something like this:
“Thanks for coming to our wedding and for your generous gift. Love, Sally & Ed”
The only thing worse is not sending one at all (although if you send something like this, you’re not really accomplishing much).

Wait a year to send them out. People will wonder if you ever actually got the gift or if you got them and are just a particularly rude or forgetful couple. Your best bet is to get them out of the way as soon as possible! You can do it!

Think a verbal thank you is enough. For some people, saying thanks verbally is more than enough. But still, it is a nice gesture to send it in writing. It shows that you put some thought into it and took a little time to put it on paper.

With the should-nots out of the way, here are a few tips to make your TY note writing go a bit more smoothly.

1. Address the individual(s) the note is to
2. Say THANK YOU!
3. Mention the specific gift
4. Say why you love/like it and what you’ll use it for
5. Add any additional note or thanks you’d like to include
6. Close and sign your names

An example:

(1)Dear Hannah and Ryan,

(2)Thank you so much for the (3) Vera Wang wine glasses! We were so excited to receive them – we can’t wait to (4) use them at our first dinner party.

(5)Thank you also for coming from Chicago to share our special day with us. It was so great to see you again. We hope you had a wonderful time!

(6)Best wishes,
Katie and Connor

Above are some of our favorite Thank you cards for beach weddings. You can view these at www.mypersonalartist.com

Have you ever gone to a wedding and felt like you weren’t included? Not a flash-back-to-8th-grade-cliques feeling, but just a feeling that you’re not quite getting a personal connection to the couple. Maybe you don’t know them well or maybe you’ve lost touch over time, but you definitely don’t feel personally included in all the festivities.

When you make your wedding plans, you want to try to reach out and create that personal connection for all your guests, because, well, they’ll just have a better time that way. Everyone wants to feel like they know you – or got to know you better – at your wedding. Here are some ways to reach out to guests who might not be in your daily inner circle of friends.

Welcome out-of-towners. Welcome baskets/bags or packets with local restaurants, entertainment options, and in-room snacks offer convenience and make guests feel at home. Short on time? Even a simple greeting card saying, “Welcome Aunt Mabel and Uncle Oscar. FI and I are so glad you’re here and are looking forward to seeing you tomorrow” can provide that personal touch.                                                                         

Tell your story. Some of your guests may have known you in grade school but lost touch, or know you now but not when you were young. When you and your fiancé briefly tell your story and how you met, you fill in the gaps for guests and they get to know you better. You can tell your story in your program, in a short slide show or speeches at the reception.

                                                                                                                                    Introduce the wedding party. Don’t just list bridesmaids, groomsmen, speakers, vocalists and any other key people in the program. Giving a little information about how you know them, why they are special to you, even a short, quirky story gives guests insight into your life and makes them feel like they know you better.

Explain unusual traditions. Do you know that out-of-place feeling you can get when you visit an unfamiliar church? Don’t let your guests feel that way. If your ceremony incorporates traditions from other religions or cultures, you can explain them in the program. This helps guests follow along whether you are jumping the broom, crushing the glass or tying the knot.